Devastate
By Marley Valentine
Genre: Contemporary Romance Standalone
Release Date: May 25, 2017
Available on
Kindle
Unlimited
They always say to expect the unexpected. Little did I know the unexpected also meant the unthinkable.
No longer a wife or a mother, what was once a full and meaningful life was now obliterated; leaving me with nothing but darkness in its place.
Until him.
Blazing bright and determined to bring me back to life, Lior came knocking on darkness' door. Gentle, yet fierce; he was armed in warmth and healing.
He was powerful, persistent and prepared for war.
I just don't know if I'm willing to fight or ready to fall.
Evie,
Months and months have passed, and I have
tried to crawl my way out of the depths of hell. I’ve tried to return to the
land of the living, and be the man you need me to be; the pillar of strength
you deserve. But, broken hearted and beaten down, I’m a pathetic excuse of a
man. There is no glass half full, or the possibility of sunshine after the
rain. There’s only darkness. Strangling me from the inside out; there will only
ever be darkness.
With your tiny breaths filling the room, I watch your body rise
and fall while you sleep. I allow myself to notice how much you’ve changed and
let the blame seep into my pores. My eyes rake over your body. Small and
petite, you curl yourself around a pillow; the pillow that has become the stand
in body, to hold, hug and provide comfort. The dark circles under your eyes,
the way your collarbones protrude, I’ve pushed you to look the exact same way
that I feel. Lifeless.
I’ve
sunk into the depths of hell, plagued by an eternity of nothingness, I am
painfully aware that if we continue this way, I will drag you down. The
emptiness that consumes me, will consume us, and the love we shared will be a
distant memory. With time, it will fade and you and I will be hollow, dull
versions of the people we once were. Passing like two ships, we won’t touch, we
won’t talk and we will forget how to live. This hole in my heart is big,
slicing me in two. Each rip, more painful than the last. The pain is crippling
and my God is it constant. Like dead weight, I carry it around with me every
fucking day and I can’t do it anymore. I thought I could survive the
destruction, that together we would heal, but here and now, it’s just like a
knife digging deeper into my wounds every damn day and I don’t know if I can
handle it any longer.
Watching
you last night for the millionth time, I realized this was the end. The end of
us, and the end of me. I can no longer stand to see you sneak off into our
daughter’s room when you think I’m asleep. I know you hide your pain from me,
and it does nothing but make it worse that I can’t make it better for you.
There’s nothing left of me, and my heart doesn’t know how to deal with watching
your body shake as you try to stifle the sobs. With her clothes and toys
scattered all over her handmade quilt, I watch you; my wife, break down, and I
watch your heart shatter into a million more pieces than the night before. And
the piece of shit that I am can’t do anything. Won’t do anything? I’m not even
sure of which one it is.
What I
do know is that my beautiful, courageous and loving Evie is falling apart, and
I can’t save you. I can’t hold you, I can’t wipe your tears and I can’t tell
you it’s going to be better. Empty. Void. Exhausted. I’m a shell of the man I
used to be, I’m no longer me. I’m no longer a father, and I’m no longer a
husband. I am a failure. And for that, I am so, so sorry.
You are
more than my first love. You are more than my last love…
You are
my GREAT love.
Evie,
My Love. My Heart. My Soul. My Everything.
Forgive
Me. Remember Me.
Love
Me.
Always.
James
Marley Valentine comes from the future. Living in Sydney, Australia with her family, when she's not busy writing her own stories, she spends most of her time immersed in the words of her favourite authors.
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