Fallen Aces MC #4
By
Max Henry
Genre: MC Romance
Suspense
Release
Date: April 18, 2017
How
much suffering can a man withstand before he finally breaks? A question I used
to ask myself often. Now I know the answer.
As
president of the Fallen Aces MC Fort Worth chapter, I’m looked to for guidance
in times of crisis. I’m expected to set personal grievances aside and lead by
example. Yet how can I do that when those grievances robbed me of my family, my
life? My reason to be at the head of the table?
My
father: murdered. My baby sister: killed the same day. And my other sister? A
mystery. I’m drowning in my desolation and yet nobody seems to care. Or maybe
it’s the fact I won’t let them close enough to help? Either way, my losses are
my own, and I’ll deal with them the only way I know how—by punishing myself.
I’ve
got it all figured out, at least, I thought I did. Until one woman, a traveller
passing by, unravels the master plan. I see it in her eyes, the same distance,
the same feeling that she doesn’t belong—that her time here is wasted.
One
woman who mirrors me in every way, and suddenly I find a reason to hold off the
reaper a little longer. A reason to stay at the head of the table. A reason to
show those who’ve hurt me that, although they brought the beast to its knees, I
won’t lay down to die without a fight.
Existential
is book number four in the Fallen Aces MC series, but can be read as a
standalone.
“The author has
written an amazing story with so many twists and turns, suspense, and mystery
that it keeps you intrigued and on the edge of your seat.” - My Timeout
Book Blog
“It is packed
with action, suspense and romance. The writing style is smooth and flows nicely
between each POV.” - United Indie Book Blog
“Another
gripping addition to this series. Be prepared for and intense ride. A definite
recommend.” - Reader Review
He
reaches out and threads his fingers under mine, bringing our joined hands
between us on the floor. “Do you think it’s weak if a man admits his fears?”
I
frown, squeezing his hand tight. “No.” Why would he even think that? “I think it’s
honorable. It takes so much bravery to admit you have faults.”
“You
think?”
“I
know.” After all, aren’t I the authority on keeping faults a secret?
He
sniffs, staring at the toes of his boots where they rest against the base of
the washer. “Since everything went to shit last year, I get … I guess the only
way to describe it is angry at myself.”
“What
for? Do you blame yourself for what happened?”
His
head drops back again, and he closes his eyes as his thumb traces a path on the
back of my hand. “Yeah, but I know I shouldn’t. Still, knowin’ what I’m
thinkin’ is wrong doesn’t make it go away. I still blame myself for everything,
still hate myself for it.”
“That’s
natural, though. You went through something traumatic, from what you’ve said of
it, so you’ve got strong reactions that need a place to rest.”
“I went
on a bender after they died,” he explains, opening his eyes to stare at the
ceiling. “Drank, binged on coke, picked fights with my friends, and it wasn’t
until I couldn’t remember what it was like to be straight that I finally
realized why I did it.”
“Distraction?”
“To
die.”
A lump
lodges in my throat as I take him in. At face value he’s strength and
dominance. He’s a huge guy, intimidating to those who don’t know him, with his
black clothing, leather, and piercings. He puts out an image of power, over
others, and himself. But underneath it all he hides this.
“Don’t,”
I utter. “Don’t say that again.”
“Why?”
He rolls his head to look me in the eye. “It’s the truth, Dagne. I don’t want
to do this anymore. Every day is hard. I wake up wishin’ it was time to go to
sleep again, dreadin’ the day before it’s even happened.” His face moves
through frustration and anger, glimpses of pain and despair between. “You have
any idea what it’s like to just want to curl up in a ball and pretend the world
doesn’t exist?”
“Yeah,
I do,” I say. “I also know what it’s like to want to die. To know you’re too
gutless to do it yourself, so you wish for something that’ll do it for you,
like an illness, an accident, or a masochistic fucking father who hates the
fact you breathe the same air as him.” Hooch’s eyes go wide, and I realize in
that moment tears streak my cheeks. But fuck it—he needs to hear it. “I also
know what it’s like to be hurt so bad that you finally believe that day has
come, and in that second your foolishness and selfish thoughts come back to
haunt you. What it’s like to realize when you’re faced with your own mortality
that you don’t want to die … you just wish you were someone else, living
another life.”
“Dagne—”
“Ah.” I
lift my finger to stop him. “Nope. I’m not finished, mister.”
A small
smile plays at the corner of his lips, and he reaches out to wipe my tears.
“Carry on.”
“What
you have to face is that you have the power to be somebody else. Fuck what your
head tells you, Hooch. Your mind is a goddamn liar. It feeds off your fear, shows
you your flaws while hiding your strengths. If you’re not happy,” I say,
jabbing him in the chest, “change it. Do something about it. But don’t quit.”
“I’ve
tried.” He captures my hand, focusing on the flesh of my palm as he traces the
lines with his finger. “I really have, but my battery’s run dry, girl.”
“No,” I
say, shaking my head. “It hasn’t. You just haven’t found what charges it yet.”
Max is the author
of dark, and highly emotional romance. Her Butcher Boys series is centered
around a group of ex-street kids who have teamed up with an indebted motorcycle
club to take down a notorious drug lord. And her new series, the Fallen Aces
MC, is a spin-off from this dark and dangerous world. Her writing has been
described as 'gripping', and 'addictive', taking you on an 'emotional roller
coaster ride'. Originally born and bred in New Zealand, Max now resides with
her family in beautiful and sunny Queensland, Australia. Life with two young
children can be hectic at times, and although she may not write as often as she
would like, Max wouldn't change a thing. When she's not engrossed in her dark
and twisted fictional worlds, she can be found enjoying the outdoors while
4wd-ing with her family.
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