Sunday, November 10, 2013

Laura’s Review of Diamond Girl (G-Man #1) by Andrea Smith



Basic Summary:  Thirty-five year old Samantha Dennison sends her only child off to college and finds herself generally feeling F-R-U-M-P-Y and lost.  Her loveless marriage to ‘the mannequin’ has become intolerable; her daughter and best friend have both advised ‘Sammie’ to get a life of her own.  Her husband has his own agenda which does not include her.

                Sammie finally heeds their advice and takes pole-dancing lessons to get into shape and develop self-esteem, but it serves to do much more than that! The thrill of the dance and sexuality she discovers within herself is a potent mixture.  She gets a part-time job as a dance in an Indianapolis Gentleman’s Club called Jewels.  She becomes the dancer known as ‘Diamond’ and very quickly cathes the attention of a ‘bad-boy’ biker named Slate.

                Slate is the ultimate ‘alpha’ male: however there’s a problem: he simply wants it to be about exclusive sex; Sammie wants and needs more from Slate.   Sammie’s certain she’s embarked on a dangerous relationship with the hot biker and ‘prospect’ member of the notorious Outlaw Motorcycle Club.  She soon finds out she’s totally out of her league with Slate and the dangerous people he associates with in Indianapolis.  Something big is brewing in Indy; and it’s not about race cars!

What I Love About This Book: I like how very quickly within chapter one you get the gist of what Samantha’s life has been, why she is the way she is and how she got to her present circumstances.  I like books that begin with a quick flow rather than getting through half the book and are still trying to establish some sort of plot. There some surprises throughout the book, even if you figure out pretty quickly what is really going on, and the plot itself is what keeps you reading.  If the writing had been better it would've probably gotten four stars instead of two.  



Cons: The sentences in my opinion seem very fragmented and stunted.  I like how everything is laid out in the beginning as far as Samantha’s circumstances, but it’s maybe a little too literal and not organic and free flowing.  Things are kind of just stated as fact, rather than emotions or feelings that coming from the pages it’s just told straight out. 

                There is not real character development at all, and there seems to be more conversation than details.  Whole conversations will happen with no small paragraphs in between explaining facial expression, movements, stances and those things are important when you are trying to develop character’s personality which makes the reader more attached.  It was hard for me to become emotionally attached to Samantha and her relationship with Brenda when there is not really any establishment of Brenda.  I know she’s married, has two kids and lives that American dream but I don’t know her likes and dislikes why she’s friends with Samantha after all these years, all those things are important even if it’s just a secondary character because they lend to the characteristics of the main characters.

                Also I feel like Samantha herself and when she’s talking to her friend Brenda is a pair of snotty bitches, for a good part of the book Samantha insults anyone who has ever been in a biker club several times.  Then when Brenda is telling Samantha about all the losers she dated she referred to them “Townies” because that automatically negates something lower class then her and Samantha.  If you’re going to have a love story that involves a biker it might be a good thing for the main character to not be a total bitch and convince herself every member of a biker gang is closer to an animal rather than a human being.  It doesn’t make the female lead likable AT ALL!

                Plus there are so many scenes in this book that don’t make any sense whatsoever and lend nothing to the story, while pivotal scenes in the book just kind of happen with no lead up and skipping over any type of explanation, it’s almost as if whole paragraphs have been deleted that would make sense of what is going on.  While other paragraphs are just repeat what the previous one just said, as if the author stopped writing, came back and forgot she had already typed out the paragraph. 


Overall:  Either people need better editors for their books, or they need editors period because this book should’ve been put together way better than it was.  The scenes are kind of slapped together; there is no real flow from scene to scene.  Nothing is organic about these people’s actions or conversations; it’s all just very robotic.  Plus if you’re going to write an erotica book, then at certain point her “you know what” and his “you know what” has to go!  Just say penis or vagina or the thousands of other words that are used in place of it.  Samantha is not a likable or relatable character at all, she gets hit several times by her husband and not only does she stay which I understand that part, but it’s not even really addressed and dealt with the way it should’ve been.  Plus if Slate/Eric really cared about her at all, in anyway shape or form there is no someone as possessive as him would let them go back to their abusive husband, or let her drive around alone while her husband is at large and one of his very dangerous business associates.  I can’t stand inconsistencies in books, and there is not really pattern of behaviors with these characters at all.  Samantha is supposed to be this strong woman, but then is passive, weak, and stupid for much of the book.  Slate is supposed to be this sexy, alpha male who would do anything for his woman but leaves her during the day and has no real issue letting her go home to an abusive husband.  There are about 10,000 semi colons, it’s ridiculous and they are used horribly and grammatically wrong in lots of places.  The sentences are fragmented and robotic, rather than flowing naturally like real human behavior does.  Maybe this was one of the author’s first books she’s written and the writing gets better but just reading this book was so frustrating because the structure is horrible!  The story itself is great, it’s definitely suspenseful and surprising in a lot of parts but that’s really about it, and it’s probably the only thing that kept me from not finishing this book.



Side Note:  If you are going to write about motorcycle clubs, you should NEVER put actual MC’s in the book.  I don’t see the Pagans, Hell’s Angels, and the Outlaws being okay with that in any way shape or form.  It’s irresponsible and short sighted, I get that the drug bust in the book is loosely based on real events but this is a romantic erotic fiction book not a crime drama.  This is a fictional story, so you use fictional clubs, especially if you are going to portray them more as monsters that have no proper social norms and are all abusers and drug dealers.  

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