Shy
Kinda Love
By Deanna Eshler
Out February 4, 2015
Cover Designer: The Book Cover Machine
Genre: New Adult Romance
Synopsis
When I was eleven,
my best friend died in a car accident. When I was twelve, my mom walked out,
leaving only a note to say goodbye. When I was eighteen, I was forced into witness
protection. My new name is Shyanne Adams. To protect myself, and painless
existence, I do not live. I do not laugh. I do not love. For the last three
years, the only meaningful thing I’ve done is care for the horse I rescued. But
now, at the age of twenty-one, the one person from both my past and present is
pushing me to start living. Before I know it, I’m moving in with new friends
who make me laugh. And next door is Kade Cross, the guy who wants me to love.
Kade knows that I will complicate his life, but he welcomes the challenge. He
sees that I’m broken, but he doesn’t try to fix me. When he knows I’m trying to
push him away, he braces for the impact. What Kade doesn’t know is that I could
have to relocate at any time. So I have to decide: is experiencing love for a
short time worth the pain of losing it? This New Adult Romance is an emotional
journey through pain and healing as Shyanne decides to start living again, but
never forgetting she could lose this life… just like her last one.
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Excerpt
I close my eyes and
draw in a long, slow breath. “Listen, Kade, I’m honored that you got up at 5:30
in the morning to spend time with me, but I don’t do this,” I say, as I wave my
hand back and forth between us.
“I’ve been up since
4:30 thinking about spending time with you,” he says, with a playful smile.
I roll my eyes.
“Your room is right next to mine, and our walls are paper-thin. I heard your
alarm, asshat.”
He shrugs, as if
saying I tried. “Anyway, what do you mean by this?” he asks, now
waving his hands between us.
“Talking, hanging
out, friendships, relationships. All of it; I don’t do any of it.”
He narrows his
eyes. “You have two friends in there that I’ve seen you talk to and hang out
with.”
I can’t help the
frustrated grunt that escapes. “I didn’t want friends, but they showed up
looking all comfy with their marathon biker shows, and stayed at my house all
day… Keegan’s all straightforward and Gemma’s so damn cute… I tried to say no.”
I’m rambling and I
know it, but I can’t seem to stop. I’m looking everywhere but at Kade, and one
of my legs is bouncing nervously.
“Then they keep
making me go out… where I meet new people… and I have to talk to those people
too… and they say funny stuff and make me smile… so I feel bad telling them I
don’t want friends… then the next thing I know I’m living here and I have two
best friends.” I let out one final huff, then make eye contact and plead, “I
just want to be by myself, with my horses, alone in my own head. I don’t want
to laugh and have fun. I want to go back to being cranky and alone, at least
for a few hours.”
“You know that
social isolation can alter functioning of the brain? Can lead to depression,
health issues, and even impulsive behavior.”
I raise my
eyebrows, unclear what he is saying.
Kade attempts to
explain. “It’s like your horses. They’re social animals, so if you separate one
from the herd, what happens to it?”
It becomes
depressed and/or highly agitated. I don’t answer out loud, because it’s clear
he already knows.
“They become
extremely agitated,” he says, proving me right. “After an extended period of
time of separation, the stress will begin to affect their health and they will
even injure themselves in an attempt to get back to the herd.”
This is true. I’ve
seen a horse go through fences to get back to its herd.
I gesture for him
to get off my truck. “Okay, thanks for the lesson on isolation, but I have
hungry horses waiting for me.”
Kade’s expression
changes to hurt. “I just want to get to know you.”
Now I stomp my
foot, getting frustrated at my failure to chase him away. “Well, I don’t want
to get to know you,” I spit. It’s harsh, but I’m desperate to get away from
him. Away from all the things he makes me feel.
Kade lifts both
hands in surrender. “Okay, I’ll let you go play with your horses and be grumpy
in peace.”
He jumps down off
the tailgate and dusts off his pants. He takes a few steps, then stops when
he’s next to me. He places his hand on the small of my back and leans in, so
that his mouth is only an inch from my ear. “If you feel like trying the
friendship-slash-hanging out thing later, I’ll be home all day.”
Surprisingly, I
don’t feel the all-consuming anxiety take over my body at his touch. I clear my
throat and step away. When I turn to lift my tailgate, I realize Kade left his
bowl of cereal and pick it up with one hand, then instantly cover my mouth with
my other hand. “What is this?”
He reaches out,
retrieving the offending object from my hand. “I call it Captain’s Surprise.
When I can’t decide what kind of cereal to eat I just dump them all in.” He
looks down into the bowl. “Now it’s just Soggy Surprise.”
“That’s
disgusting,” I say, with my hand still covering my mouth, I’m trying to hide my
smile. When Kade smiles back, before turning to back into the apartment, I know
I failed.
I'm a Licensed
Clinical Counselor, with a masters degree, but I choose not use my degree. In
2013 I quit my job, working with foster kids and families, to stay at home with
my 2 kids. That decision is one of my better ones to date. In addition to my
education in counseling, I am certified through EAGALA to provide Equestrian
Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP). That training, and subsequent work using horses
to help kids heal, is partially where my inspiration for Shy's story began.
Watching children, and families, gain insight into their own behaviors through
the horses has been an amazing process. I should mention that I'm not currently
using this certification either. I like to gather information, training,
titles, but I'm not big on utilizing my new skills. I started reading, for fun,
around 2007. I thank Harry Potter for showing me that escaping in a book is the
best therapy. Since that time, I have read more than 500 books. This is one
thing I have stayed committed to. I prefer audio books, since I can fold
clothes and read at the same time, but I usually have a kindle book I'm reading
simultaneously. I decided to write my own novel when I realized there are not
enough books in the New Adult genre. This is my favorite genre, thanks to
Colleen Hoover and Jamie McGuire. Once I started writing Shy's story, I
couldn't have stopped if I wanted to. Sometimes she would wake me in the middle
of the night to tell me what the next chapter was about. Writing her story, as
well as her horse's-Walker, was an emotional adventure. I hope you enjoy
reading her story, as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Giveaway
Very cool posting! We appreciate your participation so much. PromoStars
ReplyDeleteNot really, maybe at a fair or something, but that's not really riding.
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